I always thought people just bought a card with a fucking snowman on it then on the inside wrote something, names of people probably, and added something about having a new year if it wasn't already printed there. Sounded simple enough. Sending it to your Mum? Write 'To Mum'. Sending it to a complete bastard? Write 'To Dad'.
Well, the Clinton execs got round a big table and said "fuck that". So now we have very specific cards, which thankfully relieves us of having to get too personal ourselves and leaves more room for store-bought sentiment which is what Jesus is all about. But, beware!
WHAT DOES YOUR CARD CHOICE -REALLY- SAY ABOUT YOU
I am passive-aggressive and it feels great
I sign things on behalf of cats
Ahh shit I can't remember your fucking kid's name
I'm blind
You're blind
Can't even remember my cousin's name THE DRINKING NEEDS TO STOP
Fuck you
Finally we can both sign a card without looking cheap!
I'm not going to let you fuck me
I might need you to sign for a package in the near future
I have no real emotional attachment to you but would very much like to feature in your will
Your job defines you as a person lol
Writing this card and opening it myself is all part of the healing process p.s *intense sobbing during Queen's Speech*
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