You're Looking Listless

I'm not one to jump on bandwagons; I'm not a fucking sheep, I'm an individual. So whilst browsing Twitter on my Apple iPhone I saw someone had posted a list of their favourite albums of 2012 and I thought "Fuck I've only really bought about 5 albums this year" and then I realised this was perfect as I wouldn't have to spend ages picking them.

MY END OF 2012 YEAR ALBUM LIST 2012 EDITION

Let's do this yo

5: Guild Wars 2 OST

Some really brilliant music on this. Spent all my time playing the actual game as opposed to listening to the CD but fuck you that counts. Epic music that means 'epic music' not 'owns a delay pedal'.

4: Khoma - All Erodes

More of a collection of B-sides/remixes than a brand new studio album but is still a really strong release.

3: Meshuggah - Koloss

Not really into this new wave of modern metal (djent) but the Swedish daddies who laid the foundations for it prove they're still relevant by once again being enormously better at metal than everyone else.

2: Neurosis - Honor Found In Decay

It's Neurosis ffs. Listen.

1: Ke$ha - Warrior

Hello. My name is Leo, and I am an Animal.

Christmas Cards Are A Portal To The Soul

Today I went to get a Christmas card.

I always thought people just bought a card with a fucking snowman on it then on the inside wrote something, names of people probably, and added something about having a new year if it wasn't already printed there. Sounded simple enough. Sending it to your Mum? Write 'To Mum'. Sending it to a complete bastard? Write 'To Dad'.

Well, the Clinton execs got round a big table and said "fuck that". So now we have very specific cards, which thankfully relieves us of having to get too personal ourselves and leaves more room for store-bought sentiment which is what Jesus is all about. But, beware!

WHAT DOES YOUR CARD CHOICE -REALLY- SAY ABOUT YOU

I am passive-aggressive and it feels great

 I sign things on behalf of cats

Ahh shit I can't remember your fucking kid's name

I'm blind

You're blind

 

 

Can't even remember my cousin's name THE DRINKING NEEDS TO STOP

 

 

 

 Fuck you

Finally we can both sign a card without looking cheap!

I'm not going to let you fuck me

I might need you to sign for a package in the near future

I have no real emotional attachment to you but would very much like to feature in your will

Your job defines you as a person lol

Writing this card and opening it myself is all part of the healing process p.s *intense sobbing during Queen's Speech*

 You still owe me £2.00